Toilet Talk Newsletter

Side 1

Men Preventing Sexual Assault: An Interview With 20:1 and a Woman's Viewpoint. By Jennifer Heavey, Counseling Center GA& Randi Scheiner, PhD, Counseling Center

The 20 to 1 sexual-assault peer-education program and internship, which is made up of fraternity members that provide educational programs on campus, was created to help prevent sexual assault by educating members of the campus community. A number of members — David Frazier, Shalah Ahmed, Stanley Yee, Andrew Jayakody and Eric Chacko — as well as Rachel Margolis, a Voices of Violence volunteer, were eager to talk about sexual assault prevention:

What don't students understand about sexual assault? Consent is not the absence of a no but the presence of a yes. You can sexually assault someone if they are quiet and don't say "no"; for consent to occur a person must explicitly say "yes." If two people are becoming intimate and person A wants to go further but person B does not verbally agree, person B has not given consent; one sexual act is not consent for another (20 to 1). Ms. Margolis added, even with a verbal "yes" if there's any sign of physical resistance or fear then your partner hasn't consented.

What can guys do prevent sexual assault? First, be respectful. For instance, if you're with your partner and they don't seem interested don't try to liquor them up. Second, when you're becoming intimate, stop, ask and clarify with your partner; one sexual act doesn't mean another should follow. You don't have to be awkward, just ask, "Is this is okay?" Make sure communication is clear and that there are no grey areas. Third, you must acknowledge body language. If you sense that your partner is resisting a bit or not actively participating, it doesn't mean try harder, it means stop. Girls tend to freeze up when they are pressured; consequently, some guys may think that it's okay to continue when it's not o.k. (20 to 1 & Margolis).

 What is bystander behavior? A bystander is similar to a witness; one's presence can keep the situation from getting out of hand. If you are a bystander, it is smart to linger for a minute but you don't have to directly involve yourself. Instead, you can continue to be present and call 911 for help. Sometimes at parties now, if 20 to 1 members see some risky behavior occurring, they will shout out "20 to 1!" to remind the person that they may be doing something wrong. (20 to1)

 Is there a specific behavior that needs to improve? One specific behavior that has not seemed to decrease on campus is rumor/slander spreading. Rumors are harmful and a woman's dress and behavior do not provide consent! People's impressions tend to be based on clothes, friends, and romantic partners. Some people mistakenly believe that girls who dress a certain way are giving consent. This is not true! (20 to 1).

 Are there certain warning signs or predatory behaviors which may occur prior to a sexual assault ? About 80% of all sexual assault victims know the perpetrator. A warning sign is anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Thus, trust your intuition and do your best, if you can, to get out of the situation. Don't leave someone by themselves. Try to know who you are with at all times. You can have increased awareness if you avoid excessive alcohol consumption (20 to 1 & Rachel Margolis).

 What should a friend do if his/her friend − who is remarkably intoxicated − insists on leaving a bar with someone? If a girl wants to go with a dude, her friends must know if she is in the right state of mind. If she is drunk, do everything you can to prevent her from leaving. If not, it is important for her friends to ask: 'Where exactly are you going? Who else is over there? Are you planning on coming back tonight (20 to 1)?' Margolis adds "friends should plan ahead; if your friend tends to make choices he/she later regrets, make a plan with that friend before going out. For instance, you may ask your friend 'do you want me to redirect or distract you if it looks like you are going to do A, B or C?"

Many people are susceptible to falling into the binge and restrict cycle and some into the binge-purge and restrict cycle. When you binge often, you may feel guilty and subsequently go on a fad diet or restrict intake in order to make up for the earlier binge. Accordingly, since the human body is not designed to diet, restricting food often leads to intense cravings, and subsequent binging. Thus, the cycle is continued. RESTRICTING LEADS TO BINGING. This cycle also happens with bulimia; binging leads to purging, which leads to guilt and restriction, which leads to cravings, which leads to binging.

Frequent binging is associated with obesity and obesity-related illnesses, bulimia nervosa, binge-eating disorder, depression, and anxiety. Binge eating disorder is characterized by frequent consumption of large amounts of food in brief periods of time with the absence of purging. If you believe that you have an unhealthy relationship with food, ask yourself: Are there times when you feel out of control while eating? Do you eat to distract yourself from frustration, loneliness, anxiety or boredom? Do you eat in secret? Do you ever find that you are uncomfortably full or feel ashamed or disgusted after overeating? If so, you are not alone; many people have problems with overeating or binging.

A recent study of 715 female undergraduates, found that 44% met one of the primary criteria for binge-eating disorder, binging at least twice a week for a period of 6 months (Napolitano & Himes, 2011). Another study estimated that about 35% of those suffering from binge eating disorder are men (NIMH, n.d.). Even people who do not meet the criteria for binge-eating disorder can suffer physically and psychologically when they use food to cope with stress. Whether you find yourself binging occasionally or daily, there are actions you can take to live a physically and mentally healthier lifestyle.

 Actions you can take:

1. Plan and prepare 3 balanced meals and 2 snacks per day or 5 small meals; eat at least every 3 to 4 hours.

2. Eat high-quality protein, complex carbohydrates, unsaturated fats and soluble fiber to slow down the rate of digestion. Slow digestion lengthens satiety and reduces cravings.

3.Spend 20 minutes eating at each meal; you can do this by chewing slowly and mindfully before swallowing each bite and taking breaks while eating. When eaten properly, meals take about 3.5 hours to digest.

4. If you are craving a highly refined food like cake, cookies, or white pasta, delay eating it for 10 to 15 minutes. Allowing time to pass can reduce cravings.

5. Find healthy coping mechanisms to deal with stress, frustration, anxiety, depression, etc. Make a list of fun activities that you enjoy and that reduce tension. For instance: reading, listening to music, sketching, writing or going for a walk. Turn to this list when you feel stressed, instead of reaching for the temporary comfort of food.

1 = starving, dizzy, irritable

2 = very hungry, unable to concentrate

3 = hungry, ready to eat

4 = beginning signals of hunger

5 = comfortable, neither hungry nor full

6 = comfortably full satisfied

7 = very full, feel as if you have overeaten

8 = uncomfortable, stuffed

9 = very uncomfortable, need to loosen belt, hard time breathing

10 = stuffed to the point of feeling sick